Startled by His Furry Shorts! by Louise Rennison

Author:Louise Rennison [Louise Rennison]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 2006-11-29T05:00:00+00:00

One minute later

I stumbled down the stairs with my head sock on to show my parents my lovely gift. Mum said, “It’s the thought that counts.”

And I said, “I know, which is why I’m ringing the authorities right now. Anyone who thinks like she does should be locked up out of harm’s way.”

When I took the comedy balaclava off, I saw that Mum had her crochet top on. With just her bra under it. The crochet holes were so big that the whole of one of her nungas stuck out through it. That is how big the holes were.

Dad said, “Cor, Connie, you sexpot,” and then lurched to his “foot” and hopped like a fool over to Mum, before crashing on top of her.

How very disgusting.

I went out into the hall to find Libby in her new knitted ear warmers. She had them over her eyes and was saying, “Naaaice and warmy.”

Doorbell rang.

Mum said, “Gee, get that, will you? Your dad thinks his back has gone again.”

Typico.

I went to the door.

It was Uncle Eddie.

Oh, the fun times just go on and on. His baldy head was glinting in the moonlight and he was dressed from top to toe in leatherette – a lovely look for a boiled egg. He scruffled my hair and said, “Never eat anything bigger than your head.” And lurched into the front room to join the other loons.

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